Government health policy says Americans should be “up to date” with COVID-19 vaccines, but what does that mean? To answer this question, I had a conversation with CDC’s website. CDC responses are copied verbatim, correcting only misspellings and grammar for ease of reading. Use the links if you want to check the responses for context.
KH: Why should I get a COVID-19 vaccine?
CDC: COVID-19 vaccines available in the United States are effective at protecting people from getting seriously ill, being hospitalized, and even dying.
KH: Then all I need is a vaccination, right?
CDC: COVID-19 vaccines available in the United States are effective at protecting people—especially those that are boosted—from getting seriously ill, being hospitalized, and even dying.
KH: You’re saying that vaccination isn’t enough—I need a booster too?
CDC: You are protected best from COVID-19 when you stay up to date with the recommended vaccines. You are up to date with your COVID-19 vaccines when you have received all doses in the primary series and all boosters recommended for you when you are eligible.
KH: How do I know what boosters are recommended for me?
CDC: Vaccine recommendations are different depending on your age, the vaccine you first received, and time since last dose.
KH: Let’s say I got Pfizer. When am I fully vaccinated?
CDC: Two weeks after final dose in primary series.
KH: How long do I have to wait after my first dose before I can get my second one?
CDC: Three weeks (or 21 days) after the first dose.
KH: First dose, wait three weeks, then second dose, then wait two weeks, then I’ll be fully vaccinated, right?
CDC: People ages 6 months through 64 years, and especially males ages 12 through 39 years, may consider getting the second primary dose of an mRNA COVID-19 vaccine (Pfizer-BioNTech or Moderna) eight weeks after the first dose.
KH: Why is that?
CDC: A longer time between the first and second primary doses may increase how much protection the vaccines offer, and further minimize the rare risk of heart problems, including myocarditis and pericarditis.
KH: Myocarditis! That sounds serious.
CDC: There is a rare risk of myocarditis and pericarditis associated with mRNA COVID-19 vaccination, mostly among males ages 12 through 39 years. Those who have been diagnosed with myocarditis should consult with their cardiologist (heart doctor) about return to exercise or sports.
KH: I don’t want to stop playing sports, so maybe I should wait eight weeks before my second shot. Do I need a booster?
CDC: One booster, preferably of either Pfizer-BioNTech or Moderna COVID-19 vaccine, at least five months after the final dose in the primary series.
KH: I’m 59–just one booster?
CDC: Second booster of either Pfizer-BioNTech or Moderna COVID-19 vaccine for adults ages 50 years and older, at least four months after the first booster.
KH: Primary series—two shots—then two boosters. I need four shots to be up to date? What if I’m immunocompromised?
CDC: First dose-primary series; second dose-primary series three weeks after first dose; third dose-primary series at least four weeks after second dose; forth dose-booster at least three months after third dose; fifth dose-booster at least four months after forth dose.
KH: Five doses! Is that safe?
CDC: The safety, effectiveness, and benefit of the third primary dose in people who are moderately or severely immunocompromised continues to be evaluated.
KH: Let me review. You’re saying that to be up to date and fully vaccinated in the safest possible way, I should get my first shot, wait eight weeks (or did you say three weeks?), get my second shot, wait four more weeks (or is it eight weeks?), get my third shot (I’m immunocompromised, remember?), then wait three months (or is that five months?), get my fourth shot, wait four more months, then get my fifth shot. How can I afford so many shots?
CDC: COVID-19 vaccines are available for everyone ages 6 months and older at no cost.
KH: Great! Vaccine makers are sacrificing profits to give away vaccines to Americans. How patriotic!
CDC: Vaccines were paid for with taxpayer dollars.
KH: Oh, I see. COVID-19 vaccines are not free. Taxpayers are paying vaccine makers for the shots given to fellow citizens…
CDC: …to all people living in the United States, regardless of health insurance or immigration status.
KH: You mean my tax dollars are paying for vaccines for all those people crossing the southern border illegally?
CDC: Jurisdictions (state, tribal, local, and territorial) cannot add U.S. citizenship requirements or require U.S. citizenship verification as a requirement for vaccination.
KH: Let me get this straight. The government takes money from me and gives it to vaccine makers so that anyone living in the United States can access vaccines. What do you call that?
CDC: If anyone asks you to pay for access to a COVID-19 vaccine, it’s a scam.
KH: You said it.